You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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