goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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