Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
