Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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