I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
