Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
