Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize