It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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