I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
