There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
