i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She's JV to your varsity
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
