Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
