i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
