dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
