bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
