He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
