I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
