i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
