she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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