can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
