I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
