Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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