Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
