I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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