Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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