Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
