There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
