my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
