I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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