Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
