You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
