so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
