My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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