I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
