trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
