Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
