Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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