are you still at the devil's house?
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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