It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
