i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize