Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
