margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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