my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
