just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
being pregnant is like rehab
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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