You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
