I got chris browned last night
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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