Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
