Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
