tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
