Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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