SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Green mimosas i think yes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
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