i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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