YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
