The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
