Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
