Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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