We're like a lot better than the average bears
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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