a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
