I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize